The Journal of Yesteryear
by mentalmentos
Summary: Through a vision Edward and Bella stumble across a journal of a vampire who once had a human love. Will this be the answer to Bella's or Edward's wishes? Or will something happen that will prevent either outcome? Mild New Moon spoilers. Author's note.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Yes I know, it's been like forever since I have updated and I don't have a story for _Kiss_ but I am writing one! This just came to me at the beginning of summer. And for the late post: I was in London when the terrorist threat happened. And before that there was homework and work and yeah I'm a baaad girl. So I apologize on bended knee. Umm... I hope you enjoy?**

**Disclaimer: I own Timothy and Vanessa and that's it. Stephenie Meyer owns the rest.**

**WARNING SLIGHT NEW MOON SPOILERS YOU BE WARNED!**

Chapter One: History does tend to repeat itself

"Edward! Would you just listen?" Bella shouted. Filled with rage she continued, "I understand your concerns, it's not like we haven't been over this enough, but Edward please try to understand where I'm coming from-"

"O, I understand exactly where you're coming from. You want to throw your life away. Do you not understand that when you do this all chance of normalcy is gone?"

"Well," Bella mumbled, "it's not like my life is that normal right now."

"Of course," Edward used a mocking tone, "How silly of me. You're dating a vampire. How could I have forgotten that?" Turning to Bella he looked deeply in her eyes. His own had turned a menacing black, brought on by this feuding argument. "But you still have your real mother, your real father, human friends, and you can actually be with them without thinking about how you must protect them from yourself. You maybe dating one but you are _not_ a monster."

"Edward, why do you always say things like that? You are not a monster. You yourself said once that your human qualities and tendencies were beginning to show. Besides, monsters do not control their instincts. Look at you and your family! You have fought off thousands of years of instinct and have led a more peaceful to society life. Like I said, you are anything but a monster."

The argument had lost its earlier steam, tiring them both out mentally. This is what it had been like ever since the accident, well maybe incident was a better word. Except lately, the fights had appeared more and more. It seemed like everyday was not complete if they did not discuss Bella's fate. Initially, when they would fight at the Cullen house, they would let them fight, listening to every word. Then someone, for example Emmett, would run upstairs and try to distract them from the discussion at hand. Eventually they gave up and when the fights began they just went about their routines ignoring the arguments completely. They had never witnessed two people this stubborn.

Today Alice stayed secluded in her room. She was shifting through her clothes seeing if anything was torn from careless hunting or other strenuous activities. Focusing on clothes was a good way for her to get her mind off the arguments. Most times she would have visions back and forth throughout the whole fight of Edward turning Bella, of Edward not killing Bella, back and forth and back and forth. It gave her a powerful headache sometimes. So shifting through piles of extravagant clothes would enable her to focus on a very important task, to her at least, and keep her mind from wandering towards the screaming so easily heard by a vampire.

Of course this was never a sure fire way of blocking visions. As she picked up the outfit she had work in the last hunt she felt the room go cold. She stood perfectly still letting her eyes glaze over. What she saw was not her room. It was somewhere deep in a forest. There was a brown, wooden cabin, covered in moss. The home looked abandoned, lifeless. Even though she did not physically move Alice's mind was drawn toward the cabin. Upon entering she could sense death and decay. There were cobwebs and dust. Glancing around she noticed foot prints in the dust covered floors. Following them she came into what looked like a sitting room, fireplace and all. Crouched by a molded couch was a man. He seemed to be crying but no tears fell from his eyes. He held a leather bound book in his hand. Suddenly he cast it into the deserted fire place, screamed, and raced out of the house, faster than any human. He was a vampire.

As suddenly as it had begun Alice found herself in her room again, shaking. Even though the vision was nothing to be worried about it still left her with that dreaded feeling that often accompanied visions of this magnitude. Alice tried to focus back on the real world and everything that was happening right now. The argument had stopped, in fact Bella and Edward were no longer in Edward's room. She smiled and turned around.

"So you won't stop if we ask nicely but if one of us has a bizarre vision you come running?" Edward and Bella were standing in the door way. Bella had a look of utter confusion where Edward seemed to be contemplating with an outward glance of annoyance of his sister's last comment.

"Do you have any idea what it meant?"

"Hey, I don't interpret the visions I just have them." Edward frowned.

"It's just so odd. Usually your visions are something crucial, or helpful to us. But what was that?"

"Would someone be kind enough to explain to the mortal human who does not have special powers?" Alice laughed her pixyish little laugh.

"I just had a weird vision that didn't contain anything or anyone that we know." She looked at Bella's "more detail please" face and sighed. "There was this abandoned cabin in the woods and some vampire was in there crying. He tossed, well more like threw, an old beat-up book into a fireplace and ran off."

"And you're sure you don't know the vampire in question?"

"I've never seen him. Edward? What about you?"

"Wasn't familiar. Maybe we should ask Carlisle when he gets back from the hospital. He's knows many more vampires than we do."

"Edward, I still don't think this is a big dea-" Alice began.

"You have visions for reasons don't you?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes? What do you mean by sometimes?"

"Well I've had visions to find Jasper, and to save Bella," at that Bella blushed a nice crimson, "But I've also had visions of little things that don't mean much. Granted none of them have ever been this bizarre but, I'm just saying."

"And I'm just saying that we should talk to Carlisle about it."

"Fine." Alice flatly stated. She searched around the pile of clothes that now filled her room. Finally she managed to find a pencil and piece of paper. Closing her eyes she pictured the vampire she had seen in her vision. His black hair was wild and untamed, his face strong and stern with a hint of depression. Taking in his eyes she noticed that they were fairly dark, the man was in need of a hunt soon. Looking closer she realized that his eyes were a dark brown and not a dark red. This could mean many things, he could be trapped in the forest with only animals or he could be a vegetarian like themselves. She reminded herself to include that in the presentation to Carlisle. That is if Edward let her accompany them since he probably heard what she thought. She focused back on the man one last time then opened her eyes and began to sketch what she had seen.

After she had finished she wondered if she should also draw the cabin.

"No, that's okay you can describe it to Carlisle." It was very annoying at times to have a brother that could read your mind. She smiled and thought hard about what she and Jasper had done last night.

Edward growled. "Okay, okay just stop!" He seemed somewhat in pain. She loved doing things like that to Edward to remind him that a person's thoughts were often private and some were worth remaining that way.

"Are you two done having your own private conversation?" They glanced at Bella. She blushed. "It's just that, well there are three people in this room and it seems that only two are privy to the details of the conversation."

Alice and Edward blinked and looked at each other. Alice stifled a laugh. Rolling his eyes Edward led Bella out of the room.

"I apologize about that but you have to understand that I'm used to communicating with her and my family that way and have been doing so for a long time. It will take me a while to get used to converse with someone that has a permanent block on their mind."

"And what about the conversations you have where you both are talking and I can't even hear what you're saying."

Sighing Edward continued, "I will make sure that when you are present we will speak slower and louder."

"You know," Bella began, "this would be a lot easier if you would just-"

"Bella! Didn't we just go over this?" Edward's eyes had returned to a dark and furious color. Behind them Alice just rolled her eyes and thought "Here they go again."

It took a couple of hours, not all filled with fights, for Carlisle to return from the hospital. When he arrived home he could sense the tension within his home.

"What happened to the days where the father coming home from a long day of work would be greeted by his smiling, never quarreling children?" He said this rather loud even though he knew he would be heard. Apparently at the hospital today he had to deal with a child abused by his parents and it had left him in a sour mood.

"Carlisle is back," Edward announced, more for Bella's sake. He lifted her and carried her downstairs to where Edward's adoptive father was. Alice appeared moments later.

"Carlisle," it was decided that Edward would announce it since he seemed the most concerned about what had happened earlier, "Alice had a vision today." Immediately Carlisle glanced at Bella as thoughts ran through his head about what Alice may have foreseen. Bella's cheeks filled with blood and turned crimson yet again.

"No, nothing to do with Bella," even so Edward held her a little tighter, "It really didn't have to do with anything that we know of. It just seemed sort of odd, random, out of place."

"Well, let's head up to my office and we can discuss what it is that has you so baffled." Edward had yet to put Bella down so it was not difficult to carry her straight back upstairs. Once they had settled down Carlisle had Alice tell about the vision. He did not once interrupt her.

"So you see," she concluded, "some of us," at that she glanced at Edward, "were wondering if perhaps you have seen this man before." At that she withdrew the drawing she had made earlier. Carlisle studied it a moment, keeping his mind blocked so that Edward could not detect what he was thinking which, needless to say, bothered Edward quite a bit.

"And you said that he was in some sort of abandoned cabin?"

"Yes some where in the middle of some forest."

"I see." A curious expression now lay on Carlisle's face. It was one mixed with surprise, shock, happiness, curiosity, and a little bit of worry. "May I ask a question?"

Alice responding certain that he meant her, since it was her vision. "Sure."

"Sorry Alice, not you." Looking at both Edward and Bella he said, "You two."

"Us?" Bella blushed out. Edward also had a curious expression on his face.

"Yes, if you don't mind me asking what were the two of you doing when Alice had this vision?" Bella glanced at Edward who looked somewhat mad. He was just glaring at Carlisle wondering what his adoptive father was getting at. Carlisle seemed to already know what they had been up to.

"We were having a bit of an argument over certain people's future."

"Just as I thought." Silence filled the room as Carlisle seemed to ponder the current predicament. Edward tried to probe Carlisle's mind but it was impenetrable. After a few minutes of toe tapping and impatient sighs, Edward prepared to demand to Carlisle to tell them what was going on. Before he could utter a word Carlisle beat him to it.

"The man from Alice's vision was the first vegetarian vampire that I met. He was the one that convinced me that a life, like the one we lead, is actually possible. He was, well I guess the best way to explain him is that he was like Edward." At this Alice and Bella glanced curiously at Edward while he just stared at Carlisle waiting for him to continue. "Well, Timothy was always secluded and unsure of himself. That is until he met Vanessa." Carlisle glanced at Bella, "She was a human. He loved her more than anything."

"But Carlisle," Alice interrupted him, "why is it that you have never mentioned him before?"

At this Carlisle sighed and Edward stiffened at Bella's side. "He was a troubled man –er, vampire. He and Vanessa had a love that would have withstood thousands of years"

Bella was confused, "Would have?"

"Well you see, Timothy knew that he could never give Vanessa the normal life of a mortal that she had a right to. He knew that as much as he could not live all eternity without her, neither could he make her one of our kind nor could he torture her with his never aging ulterior beside her very mortal one. So he ended their relationship knowing that it could never be."

Harsh memories floated back to Bella as she remembered a few months ago when- well it wasn't important, she thought, she and Edward were back together and that was what mattered. Edward tightened the grip on her hand. Even though he could not read her mind he knew what she was thinking.

Carlisle continued, "I was sad when I heard the news. Apparently Vanessa was killed by another vampire. It was all coincidence but it tore Timothy apart. Here he tried to give her a life free of vampires, a normal life, and in the end it killed her."

Silence filled the room as each individual processed the information. Eventually Edward spoke up through the silence.

"So he went crazy. Trying to find ways of killing himself probably," he choked out a laugh, "I know the feeling."

Bella slapped Edward lightly on the shoulder, because she knew it would hurt her more than him, "Edward! This is not a time to be morbid for you."

"But Edward is right. That is exactly what he did. I tried to track him down once, but he did not want to be found." Carlisle sighed. "Now as for the cabin-"

"You know it?" questioned Bella.

Carlisle smiled, "Yes, it is where they lived, Vanessa and Timothy, for a short while so that Timothy would not be noted for his… uniqueness. And if I remember correctly I believe it is somewhere close by."

Realization sparked in Alice's and Bella's eyes while Edward remained stone like. "You wish for us to find it?" Bella asked.

"Well I think that Alice had her vision for a reason. Since you two," he glanced at Edward and Bella, "where having the same conversation that Vanessa and Timothy had it must have sparked the vision. My guess is that you two might have something to learn."

At this Edward spoke, "Learn? What is there to learn? We have already been down this path and have made our decision."

Bella rolled her eyes. "We have each made separate decisions, need I remind you? And if you don't follow mine Carlisle…"

"Yes, yes I know. But I don't understand why we should have anything else to learn."

"Well," piped the pixie, "_I_ think it sounds like an adventure!" Then delight filled her face. "And if we're going to travel that means new clothes!"

Bella shivered. "Don't worry Bella," Carlisle interfered "No shopping will be needed because Alice will not be going." Alice pouted and stormed out of the office.

"Carlisle, I see no point to this," stated Edward, "I mean-" but Edward was speechless. He didn't know what to say or think. He was rather confused about all this nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense.

"I'm up for it." Edward had to give a second glance at Bella to make sure he had heard her right.

"Bella," Edward stammered, "are you certain about this? I mean, this cabin is somewhere out in the woods, and we know how agile you are. We don't know what's out there, and we know what type of a danger magnet you are. We-"

"Edward. Yes I am a klutz, and a 'danger' magnet, but as long as you are there I am safe, and you know that."

Edward sighed and gazed into Bella's eyes. "There's no way out of this, is there?"

Bella looked like she was almost considering this, smiled and cheerily responded "No."

"Fine, I'll let you have this little 'adventure'. Who knows? Maybe we'll find a way to keep you mortal?" He smirked.

Bella frowned, for that was quite the opposite from what she was thinking. Carlisle cleared his throat and looked at Edward. He formed in his mind the way to find the cabin as clearly as he could so that Edward would be able to find it.

When they were done Edward turned to Bella and asked "When should this little excursion begin?"

Bella thought about it a moment. She realized that she was finally ungrounded from the little Italy incident and the motorcycle and since she had begged Charlie for a sleep over with Alice… "Now is perfect. Or actually right after a quick human moment if you don't mind."

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After Bella's "human moment" she and Edward went to the Volvo. "Edward," moaned Bella, "don't tell me you're driving there."

"Okay, I won't." He proceeded to get in the driver's seat.

"But you-uh-what?" Bella stammered.

"I promised not to tell you that I was driving." He gave her that dazzling smile and off they went. It was quite a drive to where ever it was they were headed even with Edward's speed. But they eventually made it. They parked the car outside an old abandoned wood. One that seemed vacant of any life. Human or otherwise. Edward took Bella's hand.

"It will be better if we walk. Something isn't quite right here and I don't want to risk anything. If there is a sign of danger I will carry you back to the car." Bella nodded as she grasped the stone cold hand of her lover a little tighter.

They followed what seemed to be a very worn path deep into the heart of the woods. They did not mean any harm by the time they reached the cabin. If it had not been for Edward's heightened senses Bella would have glanced right over the abandoned home. It was covered in all sorts of foliage, blending in well with its surroundings. When they reached the door Edward motioned for Bella to be quiet as he checked to see, or rather hear, if anyone was near by. He could not hear a single thought. Even so he would not be off his guard. Just because Aro had deemed Bella special, with her ability of not being affected, that did not mean there were others like her.

Edward had to yank hard on the door, as it was rusted and overgrown with ferns and vines. Slowly they crept inside searching every crevice and corner for something, anything that would help them in this little investigation.

"Oh!" Bella gasped. Immediately Edward went into a protective position, preparing himself to pick his love up and run.

"No Edward! It's just… look in the fireplace." He did not lessen his protectiveness but his gaze slowly went to the fireplace. "Isn't that where Alice said that the book was thrown in? Maybe that's what we were supposed to find." Edward relaxed, sighed and shook his head. Bella could have sworn she heard him mutter something like "silly Bella". He glided over to the fireplace and retrieved the book. It was heavily dusted but there were already underlying finger prints on it.

"This was dropped off, perhaps, an hour or two ago. It rose some of the dust in the fireplace but these finger prints would not have lasted too long if it had been dropped off earlier."

"Let me see that," requested Bella as she made her way towards Edward. She stumbled over the couch but, as always, Edward caught her with ease. He picked her up delicately and placed her on his lap as he positioned himself on the dusted couch. Bella snatched the book and attempted to brush the dust away. She found that there was no title on the book.

With a frown Bella stated, "That's odd. There should be a title on this book."

"Well," replied Edward, "did you ever think that this is not a published piece?"

"What do you mean?" questioned Bella.

"I mean that it may be a journal or a diary of sorts."

Bella nodded her head and opened the book to the first page. It read:

_Reginald Timothy McPherson_

_Born 1797- died…_

"Wow, he's old." Bella stated.

"No wonder he went by Timothy though. Reginald is not a name you here that often anymore." Bella rolled her eyes, she happened to like the name Reginald. "Go on Bella, turn the page."

"But Edward, it's the man's personal journal. I don't want to intrude. A journal is a very private thing and-"

"Bella," interrupted Edward, "Carlisle said that there was something to learn. This may be it. It's read the journal or wait for the crazed vampire to show up. Your choice."

With a sigh Bella turned the next page of the journal.

_We're supposed to be a species high above the puny humans of this damned world. And yet we can still suffer the pains and sorrows of losing love. Torment still exists within us vampires. Those who go against it live a curse life of committing atrocities against the humans, while others, like myself, try to maintain an image that is above our Neanderthal brothers. And even though we are not directly responsible for the harm that befalls any of those who we care deeply for, we truly feel the hurt of loss. No matter which way a vampire turns, he, or she, still must live with a dreadful curse. Whether it is taking life or being attached to a life that is cruelly and wrongfully taken from us, we must live with that for eternity. Such is the horrors of an immortal life._

_And that is why I must protect her. She must never come to suffer with the tragedy that surrounds a vampire's life, if it can even be called such. She must understand that what we have is rare, special and must not be taken for granted. I can not, nor will I turn her into such a beast. She is perfect as she is and I can not be the cause behind the end of perfection._

Edward, with a smug expression in place, was about to point out to Bella that this sounded very reasonable when he stiffened. He couldn't hear anything, yet, but there was something in the air that made him nervous. It was then that he realized they soon would no longer be alone.

"Bella! Grab hold of the book!" he yelled as he lifted her out of his lap and raced off into the forest, heading for the car, with whatever it was right on his tail.

**Author's note: CLIFFY! WOOT! If you want to find out what happens next Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Whoops! Has it really been since August? Sorry! Yes I have a million excuses like senior year, two AP classes, being in the hospital, and so many others but none of them are excusable!! None of my excuses are excusable? Yes it makes sense. Anyway I hope you enjoy the second chapter of _Journal_. I have been working on it a lot since August! Hopefully the next chapter will be here sooner. Though I do plan on writing another one shot for _Kiss_ before I update this one. So again, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I am not Stephenie Meyer. The only thing in here that is completely mine is Timothy and his background. That is it.

Chapter Two: A safe journey home

_**Previously in this story:**_

_Edward, with a smug expression in place, was about to point out to Bella that this sounded very reasonable when he stiffened. He couldn't hear anything, yet, but there was something in the air that made him nervous. It was then that he realized they soon would no longer be alone._

_"Bella! Grab hold of the book!" he yelled as he lifted her out of his lap and raced off into the forest, heading for the car, with whatever it was right on his tail._

As Edward raced through the forest, back to the car, Bella could only imagine what it was that they were running from. Thoughts popped into her head as they raced faster and faster to the car. Could it be this mysterious vampire that possibly owned that abandoned cottage? Or could it be another creature of the night, a werewolf? Both of these options seemed quite terrifying to Bella as they reached the car. Edward swung her in as quickly and gently as he could muster. In a blink of an eye he was putting the car in gear, pressing down on the gas petal, and turning the car around so as to travel in the direction they had came. As they sped down the narrow road Bella could have sworn she saw a slight shadow moving through the trees and a flash of white as the woods drifted out of sight.

"Edward?" Bella's voice quivered as she spoke. "What was that? Was it…him?"

"Yes, it was Timothy."

"What did you hear?" There was a pause. Bella glanced up at Edward. His eyes were stern as he stared straight ahead seeming to put forth his full concentration on the road that lay before them. It took a few moments before his features relaxed somewhat as he sighed.

"At first… at first he thought it was Vanessa coming back to him. Yet from that moment on a bit of rational thought began to grow and soon he remembered that his loved one was lost, gone forever. Quickly he was filled with an overpowering rage. He damned whoever was disrupting their secret, sacred, home. And when his thoughts focused on what he would do to whoever was there-" Edward could not utter what came next. For what Timothy had thought was tearing apart the intruders and he had quite a pretty pictured plastered in his mind of what he would do. To those thoughts Edward had applied his beloved Bella, he could see Timothy tearing her apart, limb from limb. That is what he had to prevent, he had to keep her safe.

Bella knew that whatever Edward was about to say probably involved some form of punishment and that he would be thinking of her safety. She placed a hand on his leg.

"It's okay Edward, I'm right here, and I'm fine." He smiled, but it was that somewhat fake smile. The one that hid some thought that contradicted the emotion he was showing.

"Till when? Bella, you're a fragile human being and someday I may not be able to save you." Again fear rushed through Bella, was he going to leave again? "I put you in danger. You would have led a perfectly normal life, safe from true harm had I not met you." _Oh God, he is. He's leaving again_. Bella's body stiffened as she felt tears build up. "But I am a very selfish creature and I can't leave you. I love you too much. I thought I lost you once, twice actually, and I don't want to live, if you can call this living, through that again."

Even though she knew it wouldn't do much damage to him, Bella punched Edward on the arm. "What did you do that for?" He turned his focus on Bella. She had a curiously vengeful look about her.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Don't you **ever** do anything like that again! You scared me so much. I thought you were going to leave me again." She started to cry. Edward smiled, a true smile that reached his eyes, as he wiped away her tears.

"Bella, you knew that I could not put either of us through that hell again. I was just trying to decipher a way to keep you safe. But we have learned that me leaving does not put you into any less danger. Face it, you're stuck with me." Unbuckling Bella from her seatbelt he lifted her into his lap. They had made it back to the Cullen home a short time ago, Bella had been so caught up in the moment she hadn't noticed. Edward tightened his grip on her and slowly stroked her hair.

"Edward." Bella's voice was small but he could hear her very clearly.

"Yes my sweet?"

"I love you too." With a smile he gently kissed the top of her head.

It was a while before Edward and Bella stepped foot into the house. They had expected to be ambushed by a rambunctious all-knowing Alice and hoped to share their findings and experiences with Carlisle but the entire house was empty.

Edward tried to hear if the family was somewhere close in proximity but there was no sign of them, any of them. "It appears that we have been left to our own devices," he murmured, mainly to himself.

"What did you say?" As if pulled out of some kind of reverie Edward glanced at Bella and smirked. She had on such an adorable expression, compiled of befuddlement and agitation.

Wrapping his arms around her and with a kiss on her head Edward stated, "I only said that it seems we are alone." He released her and began to lead her up the stairs to his bedroom.

"You mean, no one's home?"

"So it would seem."

Bella paused on the stairs a moment. "But wouldn't Carlisle be interested in what we found? And Alice! I'd expect her to come bounding down the stairs as soon as she knew we were here."

Edward grabbed Bella's hand and gently led her onwards. "Well, I'm only saying that I cannot sense anyone here." This time it was Edward's turn to pause in the hallway, a complex look overtaking his facial expression. "But I will agree it is odd that they are not here."

As they approached the room Bella began to speak, "Maybe Alice saw something? Or maybe…" Bella glanced at the book she still delicately clutched in her arms.

"Or maybe what Bella? You know it is sometimes aggravating not being able to hear your thoughts…" But Bella was not listening as she headed for the sleek leather couch. As she sat down she decidedly opened the journal.

She hurriedly flipped past the title and first pages when she glanced up at Edward. "What are you waiting for?"

Edward was confused. "What do you mean what am I waiting for? What are you doing? I thought you wanted to wait for Carlisle and, or, Alice."

She sat up a bit more and stared into his topaz eyes. "Think about it Edward. They left. They are not here. Yet you know that Alice would have known we were coming home. Carlisle probably wants us to figure this out on our own. He seemed to think that we would find something at that cottage, something to learn from. At that house you said that this book was probably it." She awkwardly held up the book.

"I just don't know if this is a good idea."

"Edward, it's a book. It's not going to turn into a big furry monster, fly around the room and try to eat us." This comment was met by a perplexed look coming from the vampire. "Just come, sit on the couch, so we can look at this together."

Edward seemed somewhat reluctant to come over to the couch. Even though the first page had truly shown how he, himself, felt for Bella, he was somewhat cautious as to what the rest of the journal beheld. In the end he gracefully plopped onto the couch, lifting Bella effortlessly onto his lap.

"Okay, show time."

Bella turned her attention to the opened page and read:

_I built this place. I built it with my own two hands. Years ago, before it was built, we would come here. It was like our own private getaway, a place to escape the harsh looks from the Elders of the town. This state was newly formed and they wanted it to be a place of peace, a safe haven for those wanting a comfortable life. They even made deals with the neighboring Indian tribe for business and to determine territory lines. It was because of this tribe that the town started not to trust me. Rumors flooded about how long I had been in this area and who I really was. They did not believe the vampire stories emanating from the tribal community but nevertheless they treated me like a rustic outsider, someone who did not belong._

_Well, everyone did, except her. Here name was Vanessa and she was more beautiful than any goddess this world has known. And no matter what anyone said about me she came to trust me and later, to love me. _

"Edward this is just like…"

"I know. Keep reading."

_When her father noticed how we looked at each other and spoke to one another he immediately alerted the Elders. They suggested, though it was more like a command, that he should ban his daughter from seeing me. He did so, but we just couldn't live each day like that. At this point she already knew my horrid secret. This was not something I could keep from her. But she helped me, she helped me control my urges and to wean off my desires. I became somewhat of a vegetarian, staying away from humans as a source of nourishment._

_At any rate, we came up with a plan. We had been to this secluded area once before and so we decided that almost every night I would come to her house and carry her off to here. We could spend hours with each other and no one would be the wiser. But like many good things in my long existence this did not last. _

Bella stifled a yawn. "Is this boring you in some way?" questioned Edward, somewhat amused.

"Oh! No, not at all. I want to keep-" again she yawned, "wreeading."

Edward lightly chuckled. "Well I am afraid you can no longer do that. In fact," he glanced at his watch, "I think you should go to sleep. Why don't you make a quick call to Charlie and tell him that you are sleeping over with Al-" A humming noise filled the room as Edward whipped out his cell phone. He spoke too quickly for Bella to comprehend until he laughed and said "Thank you."

Bella stared at him with her, what she thought menacing but in reality, dreary eyes until he put the phone away. Edward sighed, "It seems Alice has already put in a call to Charlie and it is okay for you to sleep over. But no, she wouldn't tell me what's going on. All she said was to have fun reading. So Bella I think that we shall- Bella?"

Her breathing was relaxed, her eyes closed, as she slept curled up in Edward's lap.

As Bella soundly slept, Edward drifted off into a thought filled void. He tried to look back on the day and see if he could find something they missed, something Carlisle suggested, anything that could help them right now. But his mind kept wandering as his attention was captivated by the leather bound volume residing, still open, on his beloved's lap. It laid there, tempting him to delve through its pages, to uncover the answers to what ever the problem, if you could call it that, he and Bella possessed.

With her eyes closed Bella could tell that she was on Edward's couch and that someone had wrapped her nicely in a blanket. She snuggled in her warm cocoon but then sadly realized that her vampire lover was not there with her. There was something else missing. She frowned as the previous day flashed in her minds eye. The journal! Quickly, but not as quick as a vampire, she sat up and looked around.

She could not see the journal anywhere in Edward's room. In fact, she didn't see Edward either. Trying to pull the blanket, which was wrapped very tightly around her, and to stand up at the same time turned out to be a difficult task. With an "Umpf", Bella, in her oh-so-graceful-way fell on to the floor.

In a flash Edward was in the room.

"Bella, what happened? Are you all ri-" He glanced down at the tangled mess that was part Bella. A bemused expression appeared on his face. "How did you manage to get yourself like that? Then again, I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

Edward came over and helped Bella free herself. "Well, I woke up and you weren't here." She failed to mention that she was looking for the journal.

"Some things were bothering me and no one had come back to the house. So I decided to call Alice to find out what was going on. Of course, like last time, she didn't tell me anything. Though she did seem giddier than usual, if that is possible. Anyway, I didn't want to bother you, you looked so peaceful, so I left the room."

She didn't believe him. He was the only other one capable of taking the journal, it could not have just gone poof.

"What is it Bella? It looks like there is something on your mind."

"I was just wondering… Where is the book?"

Edward's face became a little bit more serious. "Well, I was tempted to read it Bella, I'm sure you were too. But I did not read it." He quickly added that when he saw the look on her face." "I, well, I took it to Carlisle's study, to see if he had any books or journals of his own that might give us information about this Timothy character. I have read most of the things in the study but I thought maybe there was something I had overlooked."

It was believable and very like Edward. Either that or he was just using his mesmerizing good looks to get Bella to believe him. No matter what, it worked.

"Bella, shall we head downstairs and continue reading or would you rather read up here?"

As if on cue Bella's stomach let out a ferocious roar. "If you don't mind," she felt her whole body heat up as she blushed, "I think I would like to eat something first."

Edward laughed. He picked up is beloved and carried her downstairs to the kitchen.

"I do believe that we still have some human food here for you to eat. Do you have anything in mind?"

"Just some cereal if you have it." She wanted a quick, but filling, breakfast so they could get back to reading. Edward poured in the flakes and added just the right amount of milk. He waited patiently as Bella consumed her breakfast. Then as he placed the bowl in the sink he paused.

"Bella."

"Yes Edward?"

"I don't think we are alone anymore."

**Author's Note:** Can we say cliff hanger? Sorry about that. I like ending with cliff hangers! So if you enjoyed it please review. And if you have any criticisms please review. I want to try to make this story readable so any advice is most welcome. Till the next update... which will be in 2007! I promise!


	3. Author's note

I always got frustrated at authors for putting Author's notes. "There is no good excuse to stop writing a story!" Or at least that is what I used to think. Now I have a slightly different understanding.

The last time I updated this story was almost 2 years ago. I remember that time. I was anxiously awaiting college acceptance letters, writing my last big high school paper, and I figured I needed to focus on school work. As the months went by different concerns came up. There were class trips, I needed to prep for college, that summer I was flying everywhere. So I figured I would take a break, come back to writing when I got to college.

Entering college I was presented with more homework, clubs and activities, a relationship… I wanted to get settled figure out where I fit at this university. A few more months, that was all I needed. I'll admit I started to forget about fanfiction. I was taking Literature classes and felt myself being pulled into creating my own fiction and even non-fiction. Then this summer, I was hit with the biggest blow of all. Not wanting to get into great details, I found myself in a state where I couldn't write at all.

That being said there is no excuse, really, that you, reader, will find good enough for the long pause in this story. The reason I am writing this is because only yesterday I received a review from a reader begging for this story to continue. I wish it could. I am not going to promise it, though. On the other hand, I am not going to tell you that it is over. The story may or may not continue. As I slowly recover from this dark phase of my life I may find inspiration to continue this story. My boyfriend continually tells me that I have talent, so who knows, maybe with his help I will continue.

Please understand that at some point you young writers will hit this phase too. You will find the need to back away for some time. I will admit that I completely forgot about this site, possibly because my own favorite stories and authors discontinued as well, possibly because I wanted to move on with my life. Whatever the cause may be, for those of you actually interested in this story I apologize and I hope, for your sake, that I recover the fleeting thoughts I once had. But again, I make no promise.

Thank you for your time and patience with reading this. Again, I know that no excuse is good enough. Hopefully we will encounter each other again.

~mentalmentos


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